You will bend…

Life will present seemingly insurmountable challenges,  especially when you embark on a path of change – growth, enlightenment, or just something different.

There will be moments where you question what you are doing, your purpose, your mission, your vision, and yourself.  You will come to resent yourself and others, or feel like you just cannot go on and you need to turn back.

Expect to have these moments and more because change hurts.

The process of change is NEVER easy.  It requires you to face uncomfortable beliefs and thoughts, become comfortable with the unfamiliar, and release yourself from anything or anyone that doesn’t support you.

As you embark on the journey, buried hurts and feelings will surface that you must make peace with. Discernment of people who passively or actively block you, will require you to separate yourself.

But will it break you?

No.

Why? Because when you are truly in it, you feel broken, so this makes no sense, right?

Well, when you have faith and belief, no matter how hard it gets, you will never end up broken.  You will be broken during the process, but you will not stay that way.  You will be rebuilt, put back together, into something stronger, wiser, and more capable than when you started. You will break free of the old you, that part of you that will be AND MUST BE broken, so that the new you can emerge.

Think of it like the ship in the bottle. You painstakingly construct this beautiful vessel inside of the protective shell of the bottle. Sure it is great to look at when done, but that’s all you can do with it. So you either put it on the shelf as another trinket or you break the glass ever so carefully so as not to destroy what took so much time and energy to build.

The same is true for you. You can do all of this amazing self-development but unless you are willing to shed the old you, the old way, it’s just some nice thing that you’ve done and nothing more.

BREAK THE GLASS!

Trust the process, have faith, and believe that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR YOUR GOOD.

Dr. Gail Lewis is a certified professional coach and has 20+ years of experience in leadership, management, coaching, and mentoring, helping others unlock their personal success zone by connecting to their vision and purpose to action.  Follow her on social media @drgaillewis for more AIM(tm) – affirmation, inspiration, and motivation

Can You Really Have It All?

The question almost always comes up in any conversation related to goals, success, vision or destiny – is it really possible to have it all?  While some would say “no”, I think the better way to answer the question is by first looking at what “it” really is that you are trying to have all of.  The second part of this is to look at and understand your “WIIFM” – the what’s in it for me otherwise know as your why.

The Quest for “It”

When you say you want “it” all, what is the “it” that you really want all of?  The “it” is not necessarily a singular thing, in fact, for most the “it” is a plurality that comprises some combination of wealth, success, love, family, and lifestyle (among others things).  Your “it” is specific to you – it’s the carrot that works for you.  Your “it” is what keeps you running on 4 hrs of sleep, home working on a project on a Friday or Saturday night, taking meetings instead of taking in a game, or having a tea party with the fairy princess and Mr. Bear.  So what is your “it”?

The Question of Why

Once you know your “it”, make sure you understand your why.  Your “why” explains what’s in it for you if you get “it”.  The why reflects what is most important, what  matters most to you and is grounded in your beliefs and values.  When you say you want (insert your “it”), follow that statement with a “because (fill in the blank)” and that will get you to your “why”.

Now that you know what “it” is and “why” you want all of “it”, you can see the answer to whether or not you can have it all… The answer is “yes”, because all of your “it” reflects a complete life or an actualized life for you and because of your “why” you will move heaven and earth until you get it.

5-whys-web

So what does having it all look like then?

Here’s a not so well-kept secret – having it all looks like a giant pie with each slice being different in size based on the value you place on each component of your “it”. In other words, having it all is not about an equal balance between all of the elements.  Having it all is very dynamic and very fluid.  The weight of each part of your “it” shifts based on the value, need, desire, and attention each part requires.  Maybe part of your “it” is having a family life (spouse and children).  From birth to high school graduation, you may find that this slice of your pie requires more attention and focus than another slice of your pie.  You don’t necessarily throw that other slice out, instead you may need to cut it smaller until your children are young adults who require your love and attention but not your daily oversight.

Having it all is really about having what means the most to you – the most important things in life, the things that matter.  While there will be times where those things will be equally weighted, there will be times where some will require more effort, energy and attention than others, or times where some will be more impo
rtant than others.  As long as you remember that having it all is just as dynamic and fluid as your life, you will always believe that you can and see that you will have it all, an all that is realistic, attainable and all yours.

Dr. Gail Lewis is a certified professional coach and has 20+ years of experience in leadership, management, coaching, and mentoring, helping others unlock their personal success zone by connecting to their vision and purpose to action.  Follow her on social media @drgaillewis for more AIM(tm) – affirmation, inspiration, and motivation.

Burn the Ships

“Burn the Ships…”

When Cortés and his men made land at the New World in 1519, he instructed his men to burn their ships, sending a very clear message that they were committed to this journey, that there was no turning back.

“Burn the ships…”

Can you imagine THAT conversation and how it went?!? Oh, to be a fly on THAT wall….

It probably went something like, “…but we just got here…” or “…how will we get home?”

But that was the point. By burning the ships, he and his 600 or so crew were forced to make the best of their situation because they didn’t have an out or escape route.

Too often we give ourselves an out. We embark on a new endeavor or change, only to walk away and abandon it the moment things get rough or don’t seem to go either our way or the way we expected.  You end up missing the lesson chasing the win.

If you genuinely want something, you have to commit to it wholely….either you’re in or you’re out, there is no straddling of the fence. When you want it badly and believe in it deeply to your core, you don’t just dip your toe in to test the waters, you jump in and get wet.

So what does “Burn the Ships” translate into in real life application?

  1. Commit to Change. Once you have done the pre-work to identify the change needed and a plan to make it happen, commit to it.  No excuses. It’s about execution at this point – just do it.
  2. Dump the Dead Weight. You can’t expect people who don’t get your vision to see your vision. Elevation requires separation. Free yourself of dead weight – any thing and anyone that doesn’t support your efforts. Nay sayers, blockers, haters…cut them from your team. What if it’s family? Limit your interactions to not include your dreams and goals so they can’t block your shine or just smile and keep it moving.
  3. Take Fear Head On. What are you afraid of? What is keeping you from what you are trying to achieve? What’s holding you back? To really get at the root of fear, you have to be willing to spend the time and go deep. Understand the beliefs that you have that might be creating these fears and spend the time challenging them so that you can move forward. If that means you get some professional help, by all means do it.  The season of life you want to get to is paved with relationships – find your Hiram and get the help you need.

To see things differently, you have to do things differently.  To do things differently, you have to get out of your comfort zone and take away your outs or excuses.

Burn the ships…

Dr. Gail Lewis is a certified professional coach and has 20+ years of experience in leadership, management, coaching, and mentoring, helping others unlock their personal success zone by connecting to their vision and purpose to action.  Follow her on social media @drgaillewis for more AIM(tm) – affirmation, inspiration, and motivation.

 

The Power of the Tongue 

“So shall my word be that goes forth from my out; it shall not return to me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.”

~ Isaiah 55:11

Do you realize how much power your words have?

Your words have power!

They influence your actions and your thinking. As you say things to yourself and others, you start to see those things coming true – the good AND the bad.  As you start to see those things coming true, you begin to believe more in what you have said, and the cycle continues.
Starting today, make a commitment to yourself to change your internal and external dialogue – what you say to yourself and others.

  • Speak life over every “dead” area in your life – rather than say negative things about your situations, look for the positive. Find the lesson and / or blessing.
  • Speak gratitude over your life daily –  begin and end each day with gratitude for what was, what is, and what will be. Don’t allow what you want to blind you to what you have.
  • Speak declarations of abundance and prosperity –  declare and decree that all of your needs are met each day and that good things flow to you freely and easily. Then act like it.

Your words have power, so harness them.

Dr. Gail Lewis is a certified professional coach and has 20+ years of experience in leadership, management, coaching, and mentoring, helping others unlock their personal success zone by connecting to their vision and purpose to action.  Follow her on social media @drgaillewis for more AIM(tm) – affirmation, inspiration, and motivation.

 

Who’s Your Hiram?

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Who is Assisting You With Your Destiny?

You have to have someone assist you to get to your destiny. The assist comes from mentors, sponsors, and advocates.

Mentoring
Mentoring is a relationship where a person in your area of interest, industry, or career uses their knowledge and experiences to provide support and guidance. Mentoring can be formal or informal based on the arrangement you agree upon and how the relationship was initiated.  Mentors are concerned with helping you achieve your best, so long as you are willing to listen to their candid, constructive feedback and do the work.

Sponsors
Sponsors are people who use their credibility and clout to get you in the door or a seat at the table.  Their reputation is a resource for you to use in achieving your short term or long term goals.  They won’t hesitate to connect you with resources because you have proven your worth to them and they know that all you need is a chance.

Advocates 
Advocates are the people who speak for you when you can’t. They are the ones that will throw your name in the ring, stand up for you, and provide you with a “head’s up” when the proverbial back field is in motion.

Seek mentors, sponsors, and advocates that will give wise counsel and move you in the direction you need to go.

• Identify people who are where you want to be

• Be clear on what you bring to the relationship

• Have a solid “ask” based on your value proposition and what you are looking for

• Demonstrate that you are willing to do the work

• Be respectful of their time

Remember that you are always learning! Don’t let your ego or pride keep you from getting ahead.

Dr. Gail Lewis is a certified professional coach and has 20+ years of experience in leadership, management, coaching, and mentoring, helping others unlock their personal success zone by connecting to their vision and purpose to action.  Follow her on social media @drgaillewis for more AIM(tm) – affirmation, inspiration, and motivation.