The question almost always comes up in any conversation related to goals, success, vision or destiny – is it really possible to have it all? While some would say “no”, I think the better way to answer the question is by first looking at what “it” really is that you are trying to have all of. The second part of this is to look at and understand your “WIIFM” – the what’s in it for me otherwise know as your why.
The Quest for “It”
When you say you want “it” all, what is the “it” that you really want all of? The “it” is not necessarily a singular thing, in fact, for most the “it” is a plurality that comprises some combination of wealth, success, love, family, and lifestyle (among others things). Your “it” is specific to you – it’s the carrot that works for you. Your “it” is what keeps you running on 4 hrs of sleep, home working on a project on a Friday or Saturday night, taking meetings instead of taking in a game, or having a tea party with the fairy princess and Mr. Bear. So what is your “it”?
The Question of Why
Once you know your “it”, make sure you understand your why. Your “why” explains what’s in it for you if you get “it”. The why reflects what is most important, what matters most to you and is grounded in your beliefs and values. When you say you want (insert your “it”), follow that statement with a “because (fill in the blank)” and that will get you to your “why”.
Now that you know what “it” is and “why” you want all of “it”, you can see the answer to whether or not you can have it all… The answer is “yes”, because all of your “it” reflects a complete life or an actualized life for you and because of your “why” you will move heaven and earth until you get it.
So what does having it all look like then?
Here’s a not so well-kept secret – having it all looks like a giant pie with each slice being different in size based on the value you place on each component of your “it”. In other words, having it all is not about an equal balance between all of the elements. Having it all is very dynamic and very fluid. The weight of each part of your “it” shifts based on the value, need, desire, and attention each part requires. Maybe part of your “it” is having a family life (spouse and children). From birth to high school graduation, you may find that this slice of your pie requires more attention and focus than another slice of your pie. You don’t necessarily throw that other slice out, instead you may need to cut it smaller until your children are young adults who require your love and attention but not your daily oversight.
Having it all is really about having what means the most to you – the most important things in life, the things that matter. While there will be times where those things will be equally weighted, there will be times where some will require more effort, energy and attention than others, or times where some will be more impo
rtant than others. As long as you remember that having it all is just as dynamic and fluid as your life, you will always believe that you can and see that you will have it all, an all that is realistic, attainable and all yours.
Dr. Gail Lewis is a certified professional coach and has 20+ years of experience in leadership, management, coaching, and mentoring, helping others unlock their personal success zone by connecting to their vision and purpose to action. Follow her on social media @drgaillewis for more AIM(tm) – affirmation, inspiration, and motivation.